Rewriting The Story: Healing, Boundaries, And A Fuller Life

What if the life you’re building is draining the person you need to be to live it? We sit down with occupational therapist and coach Heidi Blackie to explore how relentless doing, perfectionism, and inherited “shoulds” quietly feed burnout, illness, and despair — and how belief, boundaries, and acceptance can reset the nervous system and restore joy.

Heidi shares the pivotal moment she chose to believe in her ability to heal despite no diagnosis, no roadmap, and mounting losses. From there, she built a practical, research-informed toolkit: journaling to turn inward, mindfulness to quiet catastrophic futures, and gentle movement to reintroduce safety to the body. We unpack why most of us run on autopilot, how to audit hidden rules like “I must do everything,” and why modeling self-care for our kids sometimes means putting ourselves first. Along the way, we highlight a surprising winter ally — skijoring and outdoor time as a mood-boosting antidote to seasonal blues, blending nature, movement, and mindset.

Heidi’s UnshakableMe framework distills core pillars that anyone can apply: examine your stories and beliefs, practice acceptance to reduce resistance, craft a vision that excites you, claim daily choices, direct your attention deliberately, and live with intention. The goal isn’t a busier schedule; it’s a nourished self that shows up with clarity, courage, and compassion. Expect candid insights, real tools, and an

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Chapters

• 0:00 Redefining A Full Life
• 0:53 Meet Heidi Blackie And Her Mission
• 2:12 From Overdoing To Breakdown
• 5:16 Loss, Illness, And Hitting Bottom
• 7:05 Choosing Belief And Beginning Healing
• 9:50 Autopilot Patterns And Busyness
• 14:47 Permission To Put Yourself First
• 17:12 Micro Adventure: Ski Joring And Winter Joy
• 19:00 Modeling Rest For Kids And Parents
• 21:16 Sponsor: Ready Hour Preparedness
• 22:20 Challenging Hidden Shoulds And Beliefs
• 25:06 Interrupting Catastrophizing And Reframing
• 26:41 Finding Power In Dark Moments
• 30:04 Unshakable Me: Core Pillars And Practice
• 33:18 Daily Kindness, Enoughness, And Closing
• 34:26 Newsletter Invitation And Magnesium Teaser
• 35:49 Magnesium Stories, Benefits, And CTA
• 37:06 Affiliate Invitation And Final Sign-Off

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

People are exhausted, they're depleted, but they keep going because they think this is life, this is what life is. That's what I thought. I thought doing was what life, living a full life was about. But living a full life is not filling your schedule. It's filling yourself. And it's very hard for people to break the habits. But I think one clue is number one, if you're feeling really depleted. Number two, checking in with what are the choices that I have. You know, we have we need to make money and have a job. We have kids, we have responsibility. But around those, you have choice. And I think putting yourself first and giving yourself permission to put yourself first above your kids, if you can.

SPEAKER_00: 0:53

Hi friends, welcome to the New Normal Big Life Podcast. We bring you natural news and stories about nature that we hope will inspire you to get outside in adventure, along with a step-by-step plan to help you practice what you've learned and create your own normal and live the biggest life you can dream. I'm your host, Antonate Lee, the Wellness Warrior. After chronic illness upended her life, Heidi Blackie rebuilt with resilience and power. Her Unshakable Me program empowers women to heal past wounds, shift limiting mindsets, and reclaim control. But her insights resonate with men too, offering universal tools for growth. Healing begins by confronting emotional pain through practices like journaling or therapy. A growth-oriented mindset builds optimism and discipline, while taking back power means setting boundaries and living authentically. With 25 years as an occupational therapist, Heidi guides individuals to rediscover strength, providing hope and practical strategies to face life challenges with clarity and joy. Her journey reminds everyone we're more capable than we realize. Let's dive into the healing mindset with Heidi Blackie. Heidi, welcome to New Normal Big Life.

SPEAKER_01: 2:07

Thank you so much for having me, Antoinette. I'm really excited to be here.

SPEAKER_00: 2:12

So you wrote about being caught in this relentless cycle of doing and pushing through pain, leading to burnout and despair, and I can definitely relate to that. Tell us what was your pivotal moment. Well, tell us the journey and include your pivotal moment when you decided I've got to make some changes.

SPEAKER_01: 2:34

Yeah, I I kind of grew up with a kind of doing mindset. You know, I'm I'm in my mid-50s and it's kind of the whole like idle hands or the devil's work kind of a thing. And so it was just, I was, that was what I was raised with. That's kind of what I had ingrained in me. And then when my mom went in 2000, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she had a bone marrow transplant. And I took that to mean I gotta squeeze the marrow out of every single day because I don't know when it's my last. So I started working several jobs. I was a competitive athlete. I was very much a high achiever, part of my perfectionist upbringing. And I just felt this like life living me from the moment I got out of bed in the morning, my feet hit the floor, I'd feel a scarcity of time. How am I gonna pack it all in? And I just would go and go and go. And I had, I'm an occupational therapist. I I treated thousands of patients, and I would always ask, what do you do for relaxation? And they'd say, I don't have time for relaxation. And I said, I know, I love movement. That's my relaxation. And I kept going and going. And I started to, my body started to fall apart first with injuries that wouldn't heal, and I'd patch myself up and keep on going. And then I started getting illnesses, chronic illnesses that would level me for weeks, then I would kind of patch myself back up, and then I would get leveled again. And those began increasing in frequency. So I started to pare down my life. I stopped racing my bike and I stopped riding my bike because I just didn't have the energy. And I worked two jobs instead of three plus. And it was enough for a couple years. I was kind of living this smaller life. And then in 2016, I got hit with massive stressors. I lost my dog to cancer. Two months later, I lost my sister to suicide. And six weeks after that was actually my wedding, which was a whole survival, actually, because I was so, so, so, so sick. And then I lost my mom a year later to cancer, and I had lived with my parents for her last three months, which was very traumatic to see someone going through such anguish. And then several beyond that. And so all these things that were going on in my body that was tamping it down and just trying to make it through were just set on fire by all of the stress and it this inflammation that was in every system of my body. I had brain fog, I had terrible fatigue, I had massive gut issues. I think I talked to you a little bit about that. And in 2021, I actually lost everything. I lost my career. I couldn't work at all. I couldn't drive, I could barely find words. I the words I found didn't make sense. And I had no doctor, I had no diagnosis, I had no path forward. And I was really scared and anxious. And I was, I was the most alone and the most full of despair I've ever been in my life. And I had, I remember sitting at my kitchen table, and it was a cold, dark, rainy January morning, very gloomy here in Seattle. And I just thought, okay, you're it. What are you believing about your ability to heal? And in all these years, I had never turned the lens inward. I knew there was a missing piece, and I knew it was me, but I had no idea how to turn that lens. And this absence of answers outside of me really forced me to look inward. And the answer actually was that I'm not gonna heal and I'm gonna get sicker and I'm gonna get cancer and I'm gonna probably not make it to 60. And and I'd never been that raw with myself before. And that was a bitter pill. That was really hard to swallow. And I thought, if I don't believe I can heal, I could find the best doctor in the world, but I'm not gonna heal. And I didn't believe in myself, and that was also kind of a theme throughout my life. And I committed to right here, right now, I'm gonna choose to believe in myself and my bot body's ability to heal. And I have no idea what that looks like, but I have this is I have to, or I'm not gonna make it. So I started journaling. I dove into the research on the biology of belief, which there is a ton of evidence. I started meditating and doing mindfulness and movement. I mean, I'm a big movement person, but I was in bed most of the time. So it was just trying to integrate small bits of movement and just creating stories that were healing stories and and eventually kind of going back through all the stories around my illness as well as my life, and just kind of working on rewriting those. And it's been an incredible journey and and unexpected gems along the way, but not easy.

SPEAKER_00: 8:34

I promise you, you could have been telling my story. There are millions of listeners out there who are right now going through what you are talking about and what I have experienced. I remember before I began fixing my biggest health challenges, I was absolutely stuck on Go as a corporate CEO and an athlete. I wasn't a competitive athlete by then, but still just go, go, go, go, go. And that was also around the start of your tech company expecting you to be always on 24-7, 365. Can you talk to us about how we live out patterns and stories on autopilot? Like just go, go, go, go, go, not really thinking about it until we wake up and realize that it's not serving us or the deeper purpose of our lives. Can you talk to us a little bit about that? How we fall into it and what we do to wake up? What steps do we use to create a better life?

SPEAKER_01: 9:38

I think that it's it's everywhere. It's in our upbringing, it's in our genetics. You know, I think it's passed down from generations, this expectation that you have to do to be anybody. And it's these patterns that we adopt as kids. And most of us operate 95% of our time out of these automatic patterns. Unless we realize it and realize that we have choice, we aren't going to change it. And I think that, I mean, I see it all around. And I actually was talking to a neighbor about it last week with her kids, and just how the kids, everybody orbits the kids. They're the center, they the parents are driving them around every weekend to games and and activities, and there's no downtime. There's no downtime for the kids, and there's no downtime for the adults. And it's this pressure that we have that is from other people. This is how you live, this is what success is. Being enough is not enough. You have to earn it. You have to earn this approval, you have to earn acceptance. And it's a trap. People are exhausted, they're depleted, but they keep going because they think this is life, this is what life is. That's what I thought. I thought doing was what life, living a full life was about. But living a full life is not filling your schedule, it's filling yourself. And it's very hard for people to break the habits. But I think one clue is number one, if you're feeling really depleted. Number two, checking in with what are the choices that I have. You know, we have we need to make money and have a job. We have kids, we have response. But around those, you have choice. And I think putting yourself first and giving yourself permission to put yourself first above your kids, if you can, because that models taking care of yourself for your kids, which is critical. It also models to them that, you know, they aren't the center of life throughout their life. There's there are things they're gonna hear no. I mean, it's such a different time for raising kids than it was when I was growing up, when you were growing up. I mean, I heard no a lot, and that's okay. That's there's a lot of no out there. But I think it's what is the cost? What is it costing you to live this crazy lifestyle? And what can you do within the constraints of the things that you have to do to take better care of yourself and to give yourself permission to prioritize yourself? And that's something that culturally we just especially as women, we aren't given that permission. We have these expectations, like relax, take it easy. Oh, but I want dinner to be made and the house to be cleaned, you know, and it's like, well, if I'm exhausted, but if I don't do it, it's not gonna do it itself, you know. So I think waking up is is just that awareness of what's going on right now. How do I feel? What does how fulfilling is my life? What things bring me joy. And for me, when I woke up, I was I thought I was kind of aware in my life. And then when I started to look at and unpack the stories around my illnesses, I was shocked. I thought, you know, staying small, staying in my house, not doing things was really benefiting me. And to an extent it was, but it also kept my world really small. And I there was no challenging, well, maybe I could go for a walk for a couple blocks. Maybe it won't level me. Why don't I try that? You know, I had kind of created this prison and in my mind, in addition to the prison in my body. And it was through that that I started to see, oh my gosh, all these things that I thought were serving me really were not serving me. And it made me feel like I've been sleepwalking through life because I've been living a narrative that's everybody else's but my own. So awareness is the first step, and doing something every day to feed you, nourish you with compassion and kindness and acceptance because that will give you the courage to say no, to set boundaries, to prioritize yourself. But you have to give it to yourself rather than all the effort to try and seek it externally.

SPEAKER_00: 14:47

Before we cover the next topic in this episode, I want to introduce you to the adventure sports lifestyle with what I call a micro story about an adventure that I've had. The adventure sports lifestyle and my deep connection to nature is essential to my good health. So here's the story: Ski drawing. Cross-country skiing with your dog is a shared adventure that brings health and social benefits to you both. Many people dislike winter. Nearly 19% of the global population say they experience SAD or seasonal affective disorder. Or winter sad, WSAD. Ski drawing can effectively prevent and treat SAD. Researchers agreed on two concepts. First, get outside to enjoy winter activities. Second, have a positive mindset towards winter season. These are two keys to escaping depression in winter. One of the lifestyle measures recommended by the National Health Service suggests that outdoor recreation is one of the most effective ways to prevent and treat bad. Learning a winter sport that you can enjoy alone with your dog, with family, or as a club like I do, allows you to enjoy winter as much as the warmer months. I know my dog Phoebe loves to get out and ski jur with me. And sometimes I cross-country ski alone. In addition, according to the compendium of physical activities, a 150-pound or 68-kilo cross-country skier will burn about a thousand calories an hour by moving at about eight miles an hour or 13 kilometers an hour or faster. My advice is to get out there and embrace winter for your mental and physical health. I hope this inspires you to get outside adventure alone with your pet or the people you love most. Now, back to the show where we're talking with Heidi Blackie. You are preaching to the choir here because I have seen it in myself. I saw it in my parents who had five children. Three of them, the three in the middle. I'm the youngest and my older brother. We didn't have any challenges. We were like super easy to raise and you know, self-starters. And no one ever took me to a track meet because, you know, even though my parents had two cars, they were too busy with my three siblings who were on the spectrum in the middle. And so I saw the burnout in my parents. I saw that they didn't take good care of themselves. My dad worked a full-time job and owned a business. And my mom had five children, three with special needs at home. And they were so exhausted by their 50s. No one ever told them, you know, you could take some time for yourself and just go compress or get a hobby or any of those things, go to the spa or a massage or any of those things. So just hearing you say that parents need to take care of themselves in addition to their children, one, it lets parents know that you can get off that treadmill sometimes. And that you also might want to pull your children off the treadmill because when they're go, go, go, they don't have time for self-reflection, just to get a little extra sleep, take a nap if they need to, spend time just playing with friends instead of playing sports because sports are competitive, which they should be. They teach us some very important lessons by competing and winning and losing sometimes. But children are so busy, and we as adults are reinforcing this pattern of not taking care of ourselves.

SPEAKER_01: 18:40

Yeah, and passing on the automatic patterns of busyness is the goal. That's achievement that's gonna earn you success and happiness and joy and satisfaction in life. And I think too, creativity, if you don't have space, creativity is is so critical in our lives, and we we need the space for it versus you know packing every moment. And even it's great going to the spa and great to get a massage, but for a lot of people, they don't have the time or the resources, but it can be 10 minutes in the backyard with I'm off duty, I want to read my book or relax or whatever, and just be and not have to be doing something. And I think it is such a great model. And you show up better for yourself and you show up better for others, and there isn't that resentment. I think that's another piece that is so prominent, and it's it just builds and it takes a physical toll, an emotional toll as well.

SPEAKER_00: 20:00

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SPEAKER_01: 21:09

I think it's that I have to do this. This is what I have to do. I have to work, I have to clean, I have to do this for the kids, I have to cook every meal. And it's this obligation, these shoulds, and just going through without stopping and thinking about okay, what do I need to take care of myself? And one of the critical things that I did was I looked at my stories and I looked at the beliefs that were underlying them, and I really scrutinized those beliefs. Are they true? Is that true? I have to clean or I have to make dinner. No, I can order something out, or I can my house can be a little dirtier, or you know, I think it's it's again, it's really looking at do you a hundred is that a hundred percent true? And if there's a one percent that isn't true, then then that belief is not true. So I think it's it's really looking at the places where we are that keep the things that keep resurfacing for us, the triggers, the things where we feel like the the huge obligation to do. And I think those are the places to kind of start and look at what am I believing about myself and my capacity? Most of the beliefs about my illness were actually future-based. They weren't in the moment. It was, oh my God, this symptom means that I'm gonna have GI symptoms for the next week and I can't travel, and oh my gosh, I'm I'm traveling somewhere and it's gonna be awful. And it, you know, every symptom had its own kind of meaning and and forecast. And if I want something to be different, I have to change that template from the past that I've been operating on. That hasn't happened yet. But thinking about it happening as the worst scenario is actually going to make it happen. So it it's noticing, oh, that is in the future, it hasn't happened. That means that I have some control over what I want to believe about it and the meaning that I assign this symptom. And maybe there isn't meaning at all, and maybe it's just right here, right now, and it may be gone tomorrow, and it's gonna be different. So it was it was these intentional interruptions in the the previous patterns of belief and thoughts and stories that were, you know, okay, I need to change that and and assign a different belief to that because so much anxiety is about the future. That catastrophizing Yeah, and it hasn't happened. So why not have an amazing outcome? Why not rehearse an amazing outcome or an amazing process or whatever, and have that be in your mind versus the worst case scenario?

SPEAKER_00: 24:35

So, Heidi, how do we find our hidden power in life's darkest moments?

SPEAKER_01: 24:41

It can be really hard, and I think it there's a lot out there that creates this idea that you know, do these five things next time and it'll be gone in five minutes, you know, the the darkness. But I think the things that have helped me the most are acceptance. So accepting everything that's here in this moment. And acceptance doesn't mean this is how it is, this is who you are, this is your identity. It's just it's the absence of resistance, and resistance creates that elevated nervous system, you know, sympathetic nervous system. And so acceptance of, okay, wow, this is really hard. And not trying to have like the toxic positivity of all right, I'm fine, it's great, but acknowledging the darkness that you are in, acknowledging the impermanence, things, my world felt so small. I had no thoughts of being part of a larger world and a larger world that really does care about us. And I and if you can remind yourself that you are part of a larger world, this is an impermanent moment. There will be another moment and another moment and another moment, and it can be different. And you get to choose your perspective, you get to choose your response to this moment. And I think that's a piece that again we've been taught to try to distract, to control, to get away from the uncomfortable moments in life and the uncomfortable situations in life and deny them. And resistance actually helps you move through it much easier, and creating that safety in your nervous system with the acceptance and accepting you, you know, it a lot of times it's the things that are inside of us that we don't want to accept. And that was my big thing because I don't, I'm a healthy, robust athlete and an achiever. I I'm not a sick person, and I resisted for so long, even though the evidence was all around me that my life was shrinking because of my illnesses. And when I accepted all the parts of me, knowing that I'm so big, I'm so much bigger than this little piece that's anxious, or this little piece that's sick, or this little piece, and and giving love and compassion to myself and kindness allows me to see those vulnerabilities and and to really be okay with them because we're all human and you know this is this is messy, it's life. And as crazy as it sounds, I think being vulnerable with yourself is probably one of the most important things that you can do for yourself, the most important gifts, and accepting and and being giving kindness to what you find. And I think if we could do that in the world, everybody we'd be in a better place.

SPEAKER_00: 28:10

You talk about humans being more capable than they think. And I have a similar philosophy that everything inside you already exists that you need to create your new normal and live the biggest life you can dream. You've made that easier for women through the unshakable me program. Can you tell us about that?

SPEAKER_01: 28:30

Yeah, I mean, it's kind of what we've been talking about in terms of the automatic patterning and the conditioned thinking and narratives that we face in our lives, in that you have to work hard in order to achieve success. You have to work your way up. And certain people can do certain things. I think there's a lot of, I mean, I would I when I was racing my bike, I'd see a person that I'm racing against. Oh my gosh, she's so much better than me. And it's like, that's not helping you. I'm actually really capable. If I believe in myself and I believe in my ability, my head was the worst thing in racing my bike. It wasn't so much even the physical, but it was the limitations I set in my mind of I'm not as good as that person, I'm not as strong or as fast. But when you let go and you say, you know what, I'm feeling good today, and I can beat that person, I can do this. It just opens up so much more possibility when you think that way. And we, and again, we have been taught that, you know, what what we can certain people can do. And I'm not saying like I could go climb Mount Ephraist tomorrow because you know, I'm believing I can. I think you got to be a little bit realistic, but I also think pushing the boundaries to see what you're capable of is the way. To growth, and it's uncomfortable. But it's amazing what you can do. And I've I've been blown away by the things that I'm doing. I mean, old me would never be on a podcast right now. I didn't want a wedding because I didn't want to be the center of attention. And I I'm just I this message is so important to me to can connect with yourself and give yourself compassion because it just it yields so much for your life. And that includes the ripple effect to other people. So so I'm stepping out of my comfort zone all the time. And and it builds self-trust and confidence and joy and the belief that I can do whatever I set my mind to doing. And setting the intention for that. It changes everything. And then creating a vision. So I never set out to create a program, but this is what I was looking for back when I was in my worst days. And I was doing all these other programs, but they felt really prescriptive because they were, you know, do this for a half hour a day, do this, do that. It wasn't, it didn't include me and my beliefs and my acceptance and and just kind of uncovering who I am, you know, when when all the layers are gone, what's there. And through this process, I have kind of found this ally inside of me. And that's what I call my unshakable me. And it's this force, it's a life force, it's my spirit, and it's the source of so much joy and courage and encouragement and love. And I want this for everyone because when we're more connected to ourselves, it's so much easier to connect with other people and feel connected with nature and this universe, this beautiful world that we live in. And I think I think that's the key. So this program is it's based on research as well as my experience, and it's all the steps that were the most pivotal for me in my transformation. It's looking at your stories and your beliefs, acceptance, a vision, a vision for your life that excites you, and choice, attention, which is a big one. What we pay attention to is so much more important than we can ever imagine. And then intention, which is living awake, living consciously, making choices that align with who we want to be and how we want to show up and who we want to become.

SPEAKER_00: 33:03

That's so inspiring, and I believe it's going to help both men and women. Is there anything else you'd like to leave the listeners with?

SPEAKER_01: 33:13

I think doing something kind for yourself every day is a huge gift to yourself and to all the people around you. And knowing that you have the permission to do that. And you are enough. And enoughness is if you've been living a long time thinking you're not enough like I was, it's something that is like a living being that you have to nourish every day with acts of kindness and compassion and belief in yourself and acceptance. And that can change your life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 33:52

Oh, I love that so much. Men, please listen to what Heidi said about rechange reframing your life and women. I hope you will get and join up with the Unshakable Me program and get started on your new journey. Thank you so much, Heidi, for joining us today.

SPEAKER_01: 34:13

Thank you so much for having me, Antoinette.

SPEAKER_00: 34:15

Until next time, friends, I'm Antoinette Lee, your wellness warrior here at the New Normal Big Life Podcast. I hope one day to see you on the river, in the backcountry, or in the horse barn, living your best life. Struggling with health problems or seeking natural health solutions? Don't miss our latest podcast episodes, exclusive blog posts, and free ebooks packed with life-changing wellness tips. Join our newsletter at nnbl.blog to unpack this bonus content and start living your biggest life today. Magnesium, an unsung hero, fuels over 300 bodily reactions from heart health to stress relief. Magnesium expert Natalie Girado, founder of Rooted In, found freedom from anxiety, insomnia, and pain through topical magnesium. It transformed my life, she says, inspiring her mission to share this mineral's power. Cardiologist Dr. Jack Wolfson calls magnesium essential for heart health, helping regulate rhythms, blood sugar, and reduce inflammation. Up to 80% of people may be deficient facing issues like depression, migraines, insomnia, or muscle crap. For women over 40, magnesium eases menopause symptoms, boosts energy, and supports bones. Choosing the correct type of magnesium matters. Real stories, Natalie's in mind, highlight its impact. After interviewing magnesium expert Natalie Girado, I became a customer. I was already a magnesium fan, having been told by two cardiologists to take magnesium for a minor heart arrhythmia. Natalie explains it best in the Magnesium the Mineral Transforming Lives episode of New Normal Big Life, number four in Alternative Health on Apple Podcasts. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Fast forward after the interview, I bought the Rooted Inn bundle for sleep, tranquility, and pain relief. As a spine injury survivor with several other health challenges, I'm in constant pain. However, I don't take any pain medication. Rooted-in is now one more source that nature provided to give our bodies what it needs when it needs it. You can find magnesium in natural bodies of water like lakes and rivers, and in soil. But modern farming practices have stripped magnesium out of the soil and our food. That's why today, Rooted Inns rest, relief, and tranquility are part of our afternoon and nightly sleep routine. My guy who did two tours kicking indoors in a rock with the Marines now has no trouble falling asleep. I no longer have to take melatonin before bedtime to fall asleep. So after I became a customer and saw how well these products work, I applied to become an affiliate. Click my affiliate link in the episode description to shop now.