Turning Pain Into Progress: Battlefitted Mindset

What if the worst thing that happened to you could become your strongest edge? We sit down with Coach Rob Wheeler—a Navy veteran, former federal police officer, and founder of Battlefitted — to trace a hard path through hazing-level abuse, stacked PTSD, divorce, the loss of a parent, and a gym shuttered by lockdowns. No platitudes here. Rob shows how he rebuilt identity with three simple, demanding pillars: fitness, mindset, and disciplined systems that hold when motivation fails.

You’ll hear the origin moment on a Jacksonville payphone when going home wasn’t an option, the years serving in law enforcement that deepened moral injury, and the day he turned in his badge to save his mental health. Coach Rob breaks down practical tools that work!

We also explore an integrated view of masculinity that holds emotion and strength together: cry at the milestones, protect your family, be hard to kill, and be easy to help. Coach Rob unpacks imposter syndrome, the power of asking boldly, and the brotherhood he’s building through the Battle Harder podcast — real stories from people who turned adversity into action. If trauma, stagnation, or self-doubt has you boxed in, this conversation offers a working blueprint to turn pain into progress and reclaim purpose with small, repeatable steps.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with someone who needs a win, and leave a review to help more people find conversation

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Chapters

• 0:00 Setting The Stakes: Rock Bottom
• 0:53 Show Welcome & Mission
• 2:13 Introducing Coach Rob Wheeler
• 3:13 Toxic Mindset vs Growth Mindset
• 4:04 First Veteran Guest: Opening Conversation
• 4:41 Origin Story: Navy And Abuse
• 10:15 Marriage, Divorce, And Identity
• 15:00 Police Work, Trauma Stack, And Loss
• 19:35 Gym Built, Gym Lost: Rebuilding Again
• 22:45 Walking Away From The Badge
• 25:20 Birth Of Battle-Fitted: The Three Pillars
• 28:02 Micro-Adventure Story: RV And Nature
• 29:28 Mindset Over Everything
• 33:50 Preparedness Ad Read: Ready Hour
• 35:00 Beating Procrastination With Simple Systems
• 37:10 Building Mental Resilience: Reframing
• 40:45 Masculinity, Vulnerability, And Strength
• 45:20 Imposter Syndrome And Action
• 47:20 The Battle Harder Podcast Ethos

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:01

New normal big life. Imagine hitting rock bottom, post-traumatic stress, grouping your nights, obesity, weighing dying your days, a divorce shattering your world. That's where Coach Rog Wheeler found himself after a decade in the military and years as a federal police officer. But he didn't stay there. Through raw discipline and a mindset forged in fire, he built battle-fitted, coaching men with lessons for us all to transform suffering into strength. In this episode of the New Normal Big Life podcast, Coach Robb reveals how a battle-fitted mindset isn't about avoiding pain, it's about wielding it as a weapon for growth. If trauma, failure, or stagnation holds you back, Coach Rob's story proves one shift can rewrite your life. Let's learn how. Hi friends, welcome to the New Normal Big Life Podcast. We bring you natural news and stories about nature that we hope will inspire you to get outside and adventure, along with a step-by-step plan to help you practice what you've learned and create your own new normal and live the biggest life you can dream. I'm your host, Antoinette Lee, the Wellness Warrior. Before we dive into today's transformational topic with Coach Rob Wheeler, I want to give a shout out to a new listener. Irena, thank you so much for your kind five-star review in Apple Podcasts. I'm so glad you're part of our community. So let's talk about forging resilience. We'll learn how a battlefield mindset transforms lives. What if the real enemy isn't the pain you've endured, but the story you tell yourself about it? In a world that often glorifies quick fixes, Coach Rob Realer's journey stands out. Coach Rob Realer is a U.S. military veteran, resilience coach, and the unapologetic voice behind the Battle Harder podcast, a show that cuts through the noise and gets real about overcoming adversity, rebuilding identity, and reclaiming purpose. As the founder of the Battlefit It movement, Coach Robb helps men over 30 who've been broken by life, divorce, trauma, job loss, addiction, rebuild their discipline, fitness, and mindset from the ground up. After battling through his own rock bottom, Coach Rob turned his pain into a blueprint for progress, now coaching others through his signature eight-week forge program and mindset journal. Whether it's in the gym, on the mic, or in a one-on-one coaching call, Coach Rob's mission is simple: help men armor up, stop hiding from the fight, and lead from the front again. His content blends military grit with vulnerable truth. No fluff, no sugarcoating, just real talk from real transformation. With every episode, product, and program, Coach Rob is building more than a brand. He's building a brotherhood. His message resonates far gone, resonant veterans. It's a blueprint for anyone ready to fight back against a mindset that's holding them hostage. So here's the tragedy of a toxic mindset. A toxic mindset doesn't just whisper doubts, it architects downfall. This fixed outlook fueled a cycle of self-sabotage. It skipped workouts, warped into weight gain, unresolved trauma, bred isolation, and fear of failure stalled every new venture. Research echoes this harsh reality. Psychologist Carol Dweck, pioneer of the growth mindset theory, explained that those stuck in a fixed mindset view abilities as innate, inborn, or natural and unchangeable, leading to avoidance of challenges and a lifetime of regret. Let's learn how to break free from this toxic way of thinking with Coach Rob Wheeler. Rob, welcome to New Normal Big Life, brother. Thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm excited for this conversation. This is actually a milestone event for me because you're the first veteran that I've new normal big life. Yes, I have several lined up, but we planned the interviews months ago, but our calendar just couldn't line up to get them on until after your interview. So you're my first veteran. I'm very excited to start um my veteran series with you.

SPEAKER_00: 4:38

So let's make this the show to end all shows then. All right, brother. That sounds good.

SPEAKER_01: 4:43

So tell me what pivotal moment or crucible in your life that you were faced with a significant challenge that you overcame and grew and shaped into you this transformational coach that you are today. And how do you use that experience to help others turn their pain into purpose and progress?

SPEAKER_00: 5:03

I mean, I don't know if we have enough time for that, but um my my whole life has been pivotal, so to speak. I mean, um, I don't think people are made to suffer, but I've just been one of those guys that have had to face so much, like so much unbelievable adversity in my life. And I had to choose whether I was gonna let that break me and and end my life, so to speak, um, or if I was going to come back from that and, you know, thank God that I decided to fight through it and continue to fight through it. Um, and try to use that now as a superpower, so to speak, so I can hopefully help uh other people do the same thing.

SPEAKER_01: 5:45

Well, tell us some of the most significant events because I think the audience can really relate to um our personal stories and how we got to where we are now.

SPEAKER_00: 5:59

Yeah, definitely. I'll see if I can um condense it uh a little bit. So uh I went into the Navy um in 1997. Um, when I went into the Navy, I was uh 21. I really didn't have anything in my mind or heart and soul as far as purpose or what I wanted to do with my life. Uh it was kind of a forced thing from my parents. Um they got tired of me living at home and kind of mooching off of them. And the funny thing is that I tell on a lot of podcasts is my father owned his own business. He would get up at 5 a.m. to go to work. Right before he left, he would literally kick open, like I think my door was broken after six months, but he literally like kick open my door and he would say, he would just say one thing, join the navy, and he would walk out. So my idea was, okay, f you dad, I'm gonna join the Navy. Well, you know, obviously that didn't work. He got exactly what he wanted. I got, you know, out of the house, and uh it was a big culture shock for me to have everything essentially given to me. I I mean, I grew up and I would say what I thought at the time was upper middle class. Um, so I didn't have to ask for anything. Um, I wasn't expected to really do much other than normal things like clean my room or you know, wash a dish after I used it kind of thing. Normal stuff, nothing crazy. So a real culture shock when I joined the Navy, and uh when I went to the recruiter in California, uh they I didn't have anybody, like I didn't have anybody in my area that went into the military, I didn't have any guidance, I didn't have any structure. So the first thing, anybody listening to this, if you decide to join the military branch, which I think is an amazing, beautiful thing, have someone that you know and trust that knows the system go with you because even today that can really jack you up in terms of what kind of job you do, what kind of service you go into. So my recruiter, being the lovely person he is, says, Oh, go to boot camp. When you go to boot camp, you'll get a job. And I didn't know that was a lie, that was like the biggest lie of all lies. So I got sent straight to the fleet, and for my non-veteran people, going to the fleet means that I went to a ship, I didn't have a job, I was essentially a custodian, a janitor, a painter. And um, that was like a very scary thing to me because the ship I was on uh at the time, they didn't integrate females into ships yet in the the Navy, and it was a bunch of dudes, and it was a bunch of dudes who treated the ship like it was being imprisoned. So the biggest guy would like I and this is kind of where I don't have, which is you know, weird, I was in Operation Iraqi Freedom, I don't have combat PTSD, I have a physical abuse PTSD. You know, there was I was pulled out of my wreck, I was beaten the crap out of all kinds of craziness. Like, like I said, I attribute to actually being in prison for the first year of being in the military, and nobody during that time really did anything about it. You know, hazing was taken to the extreme, and um, there was no like anti-hazing, or it was if you say something, we're gonna throw you overboard, like actual physical threats to end your life kind of stuff. So that's essentially where I was in this unique position of okay, now what? And essentially that's where I realized that okay, I'm gonna have to start. I'm I'm 21. Essentially, you know, I am a kid, but I'm not a kid anymore. I'm on my own, I don't have any friends, I don't have any family. Um, and I remember like going through this hell, and I'm in Jacksonville, Florida on the pier. And to date myself, I'm on a payphone of all things that have payphones on the pier, and I call my dad, and I'm crying, and I'm like, I'm like crying hysterically, and I'm like, Dad, I can't do this. I want to come home. And the greatest thing he could have done for me, even though like it's probably not a very parental thing, he says, You can't come home. Click. And he just hung up the phone on me. And and that's like at that moment, I was like, okay, that's the flight or flight. That's where essentially I had to dig in. Um, I started trying to lift weights, trying to figure out who I was, who I wanted to be, trying to be tougher. And that was essentially like, I guess, the origin of where Coach Rob started and where I started from, and like my first big, like kind of oh crap moment of what happened to me.

SPEAKER_01: 10:20

Wow, that's a really powerful story. It very different from my own, but there are some similarities in that I think we we both grew up. I think I like to say that I was uh middle class, but I think my parents had upper middle class money by the way that we lived. But my dad was also a World War II Navy vet and a Korean War, uh, Korean conflict uh army vet. And um military service was a family tradition. All of my my dad and his twin brothers served in both the Navy and Army together, and all my mom's four brothers served in the army, and so did cousins and so forth. I was the first woman in my family to join the army, and then all my younger female cousins followed me into the army. And so I actually wanted to be a Marine, but decided I would stick with the family tradition because I didn't want to upset my dad because I was his favorite. But I kind of grew up hard. I grew up very hard in that um I was the youngest of five siblings, and having had a dad who was a war veteran, he raised us to be really tough because he said the world is going to be difficult. So I was very prepared for the military. It's interesting to hear your perspective um, not being prepared and not knowing. And as a former army recruiter, I am appalled at what your recruiter did to you. And I'm really sorry that happened.

SPEAKER_00: 11:55

That's okay. Like it made me who I am. So it is what it is at this point.

SPEAKER_01: 11:59

Now, we heard how you um were forged by the military, but then what happened? Because you had some other hugely significant things happen in your life that that took you down a rock bottom where a lot of people would have given up when you made that phone call to your dad and said, Hey, I need help. Most people would have given up there. But you continued on and you went through other really grueling um challenges. Tell us about those.

SPEAKER_00: 12:31

Yeah, so you know, from there, um, I stayed in the military till about 2001. Uh, I had met what would become my ex-wife, but uh I met my wife. Um, she was also in the Navy. Uh, I was one of those kids that just thought marriage was the cool thing to do, didn't really, you know, have a relationship. And the military, that's another thing. Like when the military and it comes to teaching us stuff and how to live life. So I I met my ex-wife and I met her in October. We were in um school together and uh in A school for training together. And um I, you know, after you go through your training, you have to go to a duty station. So I, you know, I had a choice, and the detailer's like, well, if you can get married by now, mind you, I met her in October, and she's like, if you get married, married by February, I can co-locate you. And I knew that I would had orders back to California where I was going home, and that if I was gonna go home, I was not gonna be with this woman. So I rushed to get married, which wasn't the right choice. Um, met her in October, proposed to her in December, got married in February. She got stationed in DC, I got stationed in Virginia, and then on my uh off-duty days, I would drive three hours to go spend time with her. I did that for a while until she transferred to Virginia where I was stationed at. And from that point, like, I don't know if it was because we officially didn't live with each other for a long time. I was just going up there to see her and coming back. As soon as she moved in with me, we had problems. Like it was just arguing and yelling and fighting that my first child was born, and now I'm like, oh shit, I have a child and a father. And um, I stayed in this relationship for 18 years for the simple fact that I thought as a man, as someone religious, that it was my duty to stay with my wife no matter what, realizing that that wasn't the right answer because when I told myself through all the hell I went through, that every year of are we gonna get divorced? Am I looking for a new place to live? I would fight to stay with her to say, I don't want to go through a divorce, but after 18 years, I ended up going through a divorce anyway. So, prelude to that, I got out of the Navy um early out. I didn't like the military at that time from the abuse, you know, from the things I went through. I thought the the military was a pretty uh shitty experience. So I got early out uh because during that time, if you were gonna enroll in college, they would let you out a year early. So I broke contract and then uh September 11th hit. And I remember getting this letter in the mail, and it said, you can either go back in the military or we'll bring you back in the military. Now, knowing that I didn't want to have the same experience, and knowing that I knew a little bit better about the military, I went to the recruiter, better prepared, and he said, Well, due to September 11th, the Navy has a brand new military police force. Would you be interested in becoming a police officer? So I said, sign me up. I went to one of the first police academies in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and I was really good at being a cop. That was kind of where I started to say, Oh, I have a job, I have a purpose, I want to help those that can't help themselves. That service mindset that Coach Robb has, right? Well, unfortunately, I had trauma from the first time in my Navy. I had trauma from all the stuff I did as a police officer uh in the Navy. I get out, I go become a federal police officer. I have more trauma. So I'm stacking trauma on trauma on trauma. And in um 2018, I was at a uh Veterans Affairs hospital as a police officer. I had been there for six years. When I first got to the Veterans Affairs Hospital, I was I'm on a mission to help vets. I'm on a mission to be there. This is my community, right? These are my people. The problem was I wasn't dealing with the good vets. I was dealing with the vets that were drunk driving. I was dealing with the veterans that I had to take to jail every day, all day, the same time. The vets that had severe mental health issues that wanted to fight or bring weapons or try to harm me. The the worst of the worst people of the veteran community. So that put a very bad taste in my mouth when it came to the community and the people that I was with. So in 2018, unfortunately, my mom had passed, and uh my command wasn't really gonna give me bereavement leave to go lay my mom to rest. And you know, I understand at the time with the government and everything, you have to have sick leave and you have to have vacation leave. But this is the passing of my mom. This isn't, you know, this there's an exception to the rule here, whether I have leave or not. So I I took leave without pay. Uh, I went and dealt with that. I came back to work. Um, and I just something didn't feel right about being a cop anymore. Something didn't feel right about my community. My mental health was really bad. I had severe anger issues. Uh at the time I wouldn't know it yet, but the PTSD, the oppression, the major anxiety, and I just didn't feel like myself anymore. I didn't feel like being a cop was had any value as society proceeded. We know that more and more people looked at cops in a very bad way. And I was like, man, maybe it's time to get out. So, talking to my current wife, I have a new wife now. We've been married for uh one year, but we've been together for eight years now. Light of my life, a huge support system and value to who I am. Um, I tell her, hey, I want to start a gym. She takes out the money for me to start a gym, she helps me back everything. I opened a gym, I run a strength and conditioning gym for four years, where once again I thought, oh, I met my purpose, I know what I gotta do. And then luckily, COVID happened and I lost everything again. I lost my entire gym after four years of building a community, of building memberships, of building friendships. And having to let that go was one of the biggest struggles, fears, things in my life that really, really like put more trauma, more depression, more anger on Coach Rob. Uh, so essentially, after closing the gym, the wife's looking at me like, hey, we kind of need to make money, we have bills to pay. And uh, she says, Why don't you go be a cop again? Well, that wasn't the right answer. So I go, uh I become certified in the state of Florida. Now I'm on the streets as a real cop. Second day on the job, a young man took his life. Uh, I had to process the scene, I had to take the gun out of his hand, and that just like stacked more trauma. I couldn't get his face out of my head. I'm thinking of, you know, I'm 47 years old running around these streets dealing with the worst of the worst people. Why am I doing this? And after four months of being a cop in the streets, uh, I came home one day, broke down, pretty much fell on the floor, and you know, wife's concerned, she's like, What's going on? I'm like, Look, I know you need my support. I'm your husband, I'm a man, these are the things I'm supposed to do, but I can't do this. Like, I just I can't. Like, the my mental health is not good. I'm going down this downward spiral. Everything is suck, you know, sucks. Everything is horrible. I'm angry all the time, I'm miserable. And um, so she luckily having that support system once again. You know, she's a teacher, she doesn't make that good of money. And uh, she says, okay, you know, go ahead and quit. Uh, that next day I went in there after that four months. I told my sergeant, I'm like, look, Sarge, I appreciate that opportunity, but I can't do this anymore. Turned in my gun, turned in my badge, hung everything up, and then once again was faced with the depression. The, you know, I'm a man, I'm not supposed to feel this way, I'm supposed to succeed, I'm supposed to be strong, I'm supposed to be tough. What do I do now? And the one thing that kept coming back to me on a daily basis is whenever I would see my uh clients out in town from my gym, they'd always tell me, and even to this day, people that I talk to, people that I try to inspire, no one's coached us the way you did. No one led us the way you did, no one talked to us the way you did, no one held us accountable the way you did. And I was like, Well, I can still be a coach, I don't have to have a building, and now I can coach everywhere all over the world, and essentially that's like where I'm at now with who Coach Rob is podcast host, podcast guest, trying to be a keynote speaker, trying to spread that message of turning pain into progress.

SPEAKER_01: 21:07

And that was the birth to battle fitted. So tell us about battle fitted.

SPEAKER_00: 21:12

So, battle fitted is my crazy idea of when when I do something, I don't go small, I play very big. Um, so battle fitted encompasses a few things. It's first of all, it's the coaching, which is built on three pillars fitness, mindset, and discipline. Fitness first to take care of our body, our overall health and emotional well-being. Usually, when people can lock in some sort of dedication to a fitness, health, and nutrition plan, they can start making those changes in their life. I truly believe, as someone who was almost 300 pounds when I got out of the Navy and had to lose weight and figure out what works and didn't work, owning a gym. Um, fitness is number one for my life and anybody that I coach and come in contact with. Mindset, giving them the tools, uh, tips, and tricks to be able to continue on, whether that's practicing gratitude, which is huge in my life. Uh, journaling, practicing bread breath work, good sleep hygiene, those things that we might overlook day-to-day basis, uh, which helps us grow emotional intelligence. My emotional intelligence was so bad. And now that every, you know, I still have times where I flip out. Everybody flips out now and then. It's just, it's the nature of the beast. But being able to control my anger, my sadness, my happiness, like just to uh regulate those emotions and take that step back and say, I'm okay, I'm not gonna freak out, everything's good, has been such a game changer in my life. And then the discipline because I don't want my clients to work with me forever. I want them to be able to heal on their own and be able to continue their journey to live the best version of themselves. And then finally, next is the Battle Fitted Clothing Line, uh, which matches the message of turning pain into progress and the Battle Harder podcast, where I tell real stories of people who have faced adversity and dealt with struggles in their life. And just like we're talking now, now they're doing big things and building back better.

SPEAKER_01: 23:12

Before we cover the next topic in this episode, I want to introduce you to the adventure sports lifestyle with what I like to call a micro story about an adventure that I've had. The adventure sports lifestyle and my deep connection to nature is essential to my good health. So here's the story. If you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you know that a Winnebago is on my adventure sports wish list, and I'm not alone. 76% of RV owners are younger than age 50. I've rented RVs in the past, and what I love is that our dog can hang out in the comfort of a cozy RV while I'm out adventuring with friends or family. And when I'm done, I have the comforts of home for showers, meals, and sleeping. Then I can pack up and drive to our next adventure. I did that. I hope this inspires you to get outside an adventure in an RV alone with friends or with the people you love most. Now back to the show where we're talking with Coach Rob Wheeler. Well, I know that you help men 30 and older, but I have to tell you, and maybe it's because I come from a military background, or perhaps it's because I feel that messages for men resonate more than messages that women receive. You know, we're often taught you're a victim and you have to reclaim your power and be a boss, you know, be. And that's just not me. I don't want to bother, I don't want anyone to boss me around, and I don't want to be anyone else's boss. And even when I was in uh a corporate leadership role, people would refer to me as their boss, and I would tell them that that I don't want to be your boss. I'm not your boss, I'm your manager because I'm not bossing you around. You know, you have autonomy, but your message really resonates with me as a woman, and I hope other female listeners are um taking this all in because there is an important factor when it comes to what you believe, your mindset creates your life. Can you talk a little bit about that in terms of mindset?

SPEAKER_00: 25:25

Definitely. So, you know, I I like to say mindset over everything, right? Um from someone who had those deep dark thoughts, from someone who had a gun in his hand a couple times and wondering if this was it, uh, feeling broken, feeling like something's wrong with me, not understanding this internal battle that we have as humans. And, you know, just like most, just like anybody, but and the reason why I specialize with men, and and my message is for everybody, but why I specialize with men is it took me a long time to be vulnerable. It took me a long time to realize that it's okay to not be okay. It took a long time for me to realize that healing comes from that place of going in that darkest moment. And I kind of attribute it to like the cartoons or the movies where the knight's about to face the dragon and he's you know in his armor and he's ready to go, and he goes in that deep dark cave and he can't see anything, and all of a sudden there's this big, scary, angry monster, right? And you can run, you can give up, or you can fight. And you have to get to a point in your life that no matter what you want, like I'm very time conscious, I'm very, I know we have one life, you know. I know there's no, I wish there was lots of do-overs, you know, but there's no do-overs. So why are you not going to live it to be the best version of yourself? Why are you not going to give everything you can to have what you want, to do what you want, to be what you want, to love who you want? And once you realize that, like, that you can do things and not let mental health, uh, not let certain like I had a guy on my show, he had cancer and he ran a damn Iron Man. So the the power of mindset right there just shows you that if you can figure out a way to dig deep with inside your inner self and flip that switch on saying, I gotta do this, like you can accomplish just about everything. And I I want to preface this with this, and I tell everybody this my trauma did not go away. Okay, I'm not healed, I'm not some magic guru that depression, no, like I still have severe insomnia that I'm trying to figure out how to sleep better, I still have some dark days, I still have bad days, but from practicing gratitude, from journaling, from having something to focus on, and you don't have to be a business owner like me, but if you try to focus on going to do jujitsu or being in some sort of fitness routine, strength and conditioning, or if you know if you like uh Zumba or Pilates, whatever, whatever you like and you enjoy, and if you can focus on being good at that, then that's gonna help you be better at other things in your life. So you don't have to own a business to be better, but you have to find something that you enjoy that you can you have to have goals and challenge yourself. Like that's the only way. That's the only way.

SPEAKER_01: 28:14

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SPEAKER_00: 29:52

So, the the crazy thing is the simplest things typically work, right? There's a lot of days that Coach Rob does. Not want to go to the gym or work out. There's a lot of days where I'm in my inner head and I'm like, I'm not going to work out today. And then I'm inside my head saying, Yes, you are going work out today. And you just have to be able to force yourself to just take that extra step. Like, it's kind of like if you're playing chess, like you have to make that extra move to make sure that you're going to win. So, how do we do that? Okay, well, if I know I have a hard time getting up and I use my phone as an alarm clock, put my phone in another room, put my phone in the bathroom where I have to get out of bed to turn it off. You have to take those small steps, which really isn't major to propel you forward. You know, if you don't go to the gym because, oh, I can't get my gym bag ready. Make your gym bag ready before you go to bed. Like take the steps. Just like we have bad habits, we have to have healthy habits and we have to use the healthy habits to help us get unstuck, so to speak. And it's not even that. You know, a lot of times I'm noticing uh as men is when we get stuck in life, right? You get married, like I have three kids, you know, uh, I'm a full-time student, I'm running a business. You're in that rat race, you know, whether you're a business owner or not, a podcast host, and sometimes you just get stuck in that insanity loop of doing the same thing over and over and over again. And before you know it, a year's past, five years past, and you're like, what has happened to me? So when I deal with people that are that are stuck, it's first changing those healthy habits. And once again, that's why I say fitness is important because most of the people are stuck, they're not doing some sort of exercise, they're not taking care of just getting outside for a walk, is so important. Like little things. So I help people change the little things to be able to do the big things.

SPEAKER_01: 31:43

So we touched on your first book on uh procrastination. Your next book it talks with mental resilience. What are the five steps to mental resilience? Just um, you know, briefly list them out for us because we can go by the book.

SPEAKER_00: 31:57

I think we'll need to go by the book. I wrote that so long ago. Um, but it's just it everything has to start with the belief within, right? Even if you don't believe in yourself, you have to force yourself to say, hey, I can do this. And having mental toughness, it's not about I think people get this wrong idea that think you have to be like this big, strong, you know, like guy, monster, woman, person that like nothing can hurt me. No, you just you have to be able to take action in order to get rid of, I guess, the negative negativity, or so one thing that worked for me when I was in a very, very dark place, uh, after I learned that gratitude, so practicing gratitude was huge, right? Uh, when I went to bed, I would think of three things that I was thankful for each and every night. So, you know, and it could be the fruit three three three, I can't talk today, the same things over and over again. So it could be every day. I'm thankful for my wife, my dog, and my house. As long as I'm just thankful for something. But what really helped with my mental resilience was just getting up and especially those initial very dark days and saying it's gonna be a good day. And saying that over and over and over and over, and from what I've done and learned from other podcast guests, from actual coaches, like that's just reframing. It's called reframing. It's when you take something negative and you turn it around to be a positive. So instead of saying, I can't, I can, I won't, I will, those things right there, those positive affirmations that reframing how you speak to yourself, because that's very, very important, that's gonna build that mental resilience over time. You we know through statistics, we know through like if you say you're gonna have a bad day, you're gonna have a bad day. And if you say you're gonna have a good day, you may not have a good day, but you're probably not gonna have a bad day, or you're gonna have an okay day. And I used to say all the time, like, life sucks. I hate life, everything's black, everything's dark, and guess what? Everything bad happened to me. It was only when I was accountable for my own actions and I said, I'm okay. I have this nice house I live in, I have a woman who loves me, I have kids who you know I have a good relationship with, I'm healthy, I get to wake up every morning and go work out, I get to go to school, I get to do this. You have to start reframing and say, I get to instead of I have to. And I think that's huge for the mental resilience.

SPEAKER_01: 34:28

I want to go back to something because I didn't mention it, but I want to say that I'm really happy that you are that you have a program that's although it resonates with anyone, but that it's specifically to help men, because over the past 15 years, and and I did an entire podcast, one of my earliest episodes was on the toxic nature, on the toxic masculinity label, and how that label has hurt men and boys. And even in um my guy and I founded the American Adventure Sports Club. It's a nonprofit organization that helps low-income families access nature, adventure sports, archery, camping, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking, all the things at no cost. And even our boys, their age six to 16 who come to camp, they have expressed in their own words, not it wasn't like a guided um discussion, but a lot of times when a kid is sitting with a counselor or with a small group and their counselor or around the campfire, a lot of the boys will say, I don't feel like I have a place. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. And and they also talk about feeling pressured by teachers to act differently, to not be masculine, to be more feminine, to um not defend themselves when they're being beat up or not to ask for help when they need it, believe it or not, because the teacher doesn't want to help the boy the way that I understand what the kids are telling me. The teacher doesn't want to help the boy if he is a has a masculine character, if he has a more feminine, a more beta male character, then the teachers are all in. Even a male, a male teacher, they're all in to help that child. And so I see a lot of hurting men and boys because they've been labeled um as toxic just for being masculine. Not that they've done anything wrong, just that all that innate character type, the character that they were born with, is there's something uh wrong with it. And we really need to change that because it's causing a lot of mental health challenges in both men and boys. So I thank you for the work that you're doing. I think it's very important, not only for our communities, but it's very important for our country.

SPEAKER_00: 37:03

Thank you. I just feel like I feel like sometimes I have a very old school or old way of thinking with how I live and grow up. And I want to tell your community, Coach Rob cries. I I have moments where I've broken down. I have moments like my daughter's gonna be getting married soon, and my uh my son-in-law came and asked me for permission, and that was a very like emotional moment, like seeing him propose to her um how I feel about me as a person and all the big things I want to do. I have big emotions, and as a man, I I cry and I feel and I hurt, but I also understand that I have to protect my wife, I have to provide for her, I have to preside over her. I should be hard to kill, so to speak, meaning that I should have some sort of discipline, whether it's how to use a weapon or how to survive in the wilderness or like that. So when I when I think of masculinity, I think of a total package of a man who knows when he can be vulnerable, knows that he can tell his kids that he loves them, but at the same time, if he has to freaking protect his family, he can do that. And that's another reason, once again, why fitness is so important. If someone's coming after your family and and you're out of shape and you can't even go upstairs, how are you gonna protect the people you're supposed to be protecting?

SPEAKER_01: 38:23

Absolutely, absolutely. And you know, I have a quick story about that. Um when I talk with boys and I tell them that it's okay to protect yourself, they seem really shocked. So I think the that that some adult is saying, if someone hits you, it's okay to defend yourself, it's okay to protect yourself. It it's you don't need to crawl into a ball, into the fetal position and allow someone to harm you because they are not getting those messages with someone else. But it's a human instinct to protect your life and to protect yourself from getting hurt. And um, but I also appreciate that you're saying you don't have to be hard all the time. Every human being, no matter your gender, should have a full range of human uh emotion expression. Exactly. I congratulate you for that. Rob, I've never experienced imposter syndrome. I don't know what that says about me, but what is imposter syndrome and how do we overcome it?

SPEAKER_00: 39:29

So, I mean, that's something I actually deal with still to this day. Even as I was in the gym and you know, I'm lifting weights and I have my goal I'm trying to focus on. A lot of times my brain wanders and I'm like, can Coach Rob do this? Can I build this brand that I'm trying to build? Can I reach these people that I'm trying to build? So, imposter syndrome is just basically not believing in yourself. It's, you know, maybe you do want to be a police officer and or go in the military and you say, I can't. And maybe that I can't is because your parents or friends or family are putting some kind of barrier on you, which in turn puts that mental block on you. It's just a mental block. Look, I never thought in a million years that I've done half the things that I've done. Um, I've done acting, I've been on TV, I mean, I have my business. Like it's being able to you you have to be able to once again, everything's that mindset and that belief in self, that positive affirmations that I can, not I can't. I learned, you know, a little late, late, and I wish I learned this sooner. Who cares if people put you down? Who cares if people say no? Who cares if people tell you you can't? Because until you go for it, you you never know. And even with some of the guests on my podcast, um, people are like, Well, how are you getting big guests? I just message them and ask. I'm like, hey, can you be on my podcast? This is what it's about. And if they say no, okay, on to the next one. It's not it's not about my ego or how I feel. So, imposter syndrome is essentially not believing in yourself and thinking you can't do something. And how we get out of that, I mean, the number one is jump head first. You have to jump headfirst into life. Uh, you have to be able to do those scary things that you don't want to do because at the end of the day, we realize that most of the time it's really not that scary.

SPEAKER_01: 41:22

Absolutely. In addition to battle-fitted coaching, you mentioned the battle harder podcast. What can listeners expect when they tune in?

SPEAKER_00: 41:32

Just real, I like the idea of being a storyteller. You know, I I always think back to before all this amazing technology, before even telephones, television, people told stories. And having the ability to talk to people literally around the world from different walks of life, and they all at the end of the day, I'm learning that almost all of us have some form of trauma. It's very few that people don't go through some form of trauma, but we all deal with it differently. So you can either deal with it by, like I said, giving up or becoming a drug addict or an alcoholic or going to jail, or you can fight through it, and out of that darkness comes some of the most beautiful things. So the people on my show is just they're real raw stories about how they overcame their adversity, their struggle, their trauma, and what they're doing now. It shows that mindset is very important. How we think about ourselves, how we talk about ourselves, how we feel about ourselves is very important. And even some of the support from husbands and wives and friends and family that help us get out of the dark times is equally important. So they're just gonna find something from I've had a person who struggled with emotional eating, and now she coaches people on emotional eating. I had a woman that uh was physically uh sexually abused, left with nothing, and now she coaches, she became a personal development coach. Um, so I'm building this, I guess, resource, so to speak, because if a young man, young woman, they resonate with one of my episodes, they can reach out to that person, and most likely that person is going to talk to them and help them overcome their problem. It's not about Coach Rob on the Battleheart podcast, it's about everybody else and just showing that there is a way through.

SPEAKER_01: 43:22

Rob, I want to tell you that you are a beautiful soul. I mean that, brother. I'm very um excited to allow other men to hear your message. I'm sorry, I'm getting a little emotional.

SPEAKER_00: 43:39

You gotta save the waterworks for when you're on my episode.

SPEAKER_01: 43:43

I'm just really excited to save men's lives. I think we have done a disservice to not only just the men in this country, because we have international listeners, but the men around the role world, especially in Western countries. And um it's time that we build them up and that it takes all of us, it not just your family members, but your neighbors, people in your community. If you appreciate the men in your life and the men in your community and what they bring to society, then work towards building them up because a lot of what they come into contact with in the media, social media and entertainment is tearing them down. So just hearing your message is really just touching me in the heart. And I appreciate that. What else can do you want to tell listeners before you go?

SPEAKER_00: 44:34

I I think just, you know, once again, while I specialize with Men 30 Plus, whether you're a man, woman, just be a better human. Like at the end of the day, you know, if you see someone that needs help, give them help. If you see someone that you need to hold the door, like we got to get back, and that's why I say I'm an old thinker. We gotta get back to just please, thank you, excuse me, holding doors open, asking people if they need help, like just looking out for each other. It's not just about me helping men, it's about just looking out for each other because at the end of the day, we never know what that person's going through. And taking that time to just do that simple little thing, it could make the difference between whether this person decides to stay on that earth or not. So just be a better human.

SPEAKER_01: 45:18

Amen. Battlefitted has a great selection of apparel, fitness apparel that I'm definitely gonna get a couple of shirts for myself and uh maybe a friend or two. And I hope that you'll check it out, friends. Until next time, here at the New Normal Big Life Podcast. I'm your host, Antoinette Lee. I hope to see you on the river in the backcountry or in the horse barn living your best life. Until next time, friends, I'm Antoinette Lee, the Wellness Warrior here at the New Normal Big Live Podcast. I hope one day to see you on the river in the backcountry or in the horse barn living your best life. Struggling with health problems or seeking natural health solutions, don't miss our latest podcast episode, exclusive blog posts, and free ebooks packed with life-changing wellness tips. Join our newsletter at nnbl.blog to unlock this bonus content and start living your biggest life today. Magnesium, an unsung hero, fuels over 300 bodily reactions from heart health to stress relief. Magnesium expert Natalie Girato, founder of Rooted In, found freedom from anxiety, insomnia, and pain through topical magnesium. It transformed my life, she says, inspiring her mission to share this mineral's power. Cardiologist Dr. Jack Wolfson calls magnesium essential for heart health, helping regulate rhythms, blood sugar, and reduce inflammation. Up to 80% of people may be deficient facing issues like depression, migraines, insomnia, or muscle cramps. For women over 40, magnesium eases menopause symptoms, boosts energy, and supports bones. Choosing the correct type of magnesium matters. Real stories, Natalie's in mind, highlight its impact. After interviewing magnesium expert Natalie Dorado, I became a customer. I was already a magnesium fan, having been told by two cardiologists to take magnesium for a minor heart arrhythmia. Natalie explains it best in the Magnesium to Mineral Transforming Lives episode of New Normal Big Life, number four in Alternative Health on Apple Podcasts. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Fast forward after the interview, I bought the Rooted Inn bundle for sleep, tranquility, and pain relief. As a spine injury survivor with several other health challenges, I'm in constant pain. However, I don't take any pain medication. Rooted in is now one more source that nature provided to give our bodies what it needs when it needs it. You can find magnesium in natural bodies of water like lakes and rivers and in soil. But modern farming practices have stripped magnesium out of the soil and our food. That's why today, Rooted In's rest, relief, and tranquility are part of our afternoon and nightly sleep routine. My guy who did two tours kicking indoors in a rock with the Marines now has no trouble falling asleep. I no longer have to take melatonin before bedtime to fall asleep. So after I became a customer and saw how well these products work, I applied to become an affiliate. I've been sharing the secrets of Rooted In with friends and family from age 38 to 68, and everyone has gotten amazing results within minutes of applying the cream. Do something naturally good for yourself. Get RootedIn. Click my affiliate link in the episode description to shop now.